The Art of Choosing the Correct Dinner Fork
"Forks on the Left, Spoons on the Right"
Scene: You are dressed to the nines. You've advanced beyond the tie-clip and have settled comfortably on which knot works for you. You've picked the perfect mid-spread collar to frame your adorable face and you have updated your scent to a modern, smokey blend that provides just a suggestion of your now perfect grooming. You enter The Box stage left. You are ushered to your seat and voila: four forks to your left, three spoons to your right, a bulky napkin draped over your soup bowl and three glasses are perched above the spoons. Now what?
Napkin
1. Your napkin goes in your lap. Immediately. Casually take your seat and while you are making direct eye contact with all formally seated guests, offering the slight, "hello there!" nod, gently pull the napkin off the center of your salad plate (or slide it from beneath your army of forks) and drape it in your lap. If you are drawn to the "napkin tuck" (where the napkin goes directly into your collar providing bib-like protection) we warn you to tread lightly. Per usual, to break a rule you should have previously mastered it. Go for the bib-tuck on lobster night or long after you've proved yourself as the dapper gentleman you are. Being under 30 years old and utilizing the bib-tuck can also make you look juvenile and sloppy. We say go for the glory and keep it safe and sound in your ready lap.
Forks
1. You will be faced with either 3 or 4 forks to the left of your dinner plate. If there are 4 forks, one might be placed ABOVE your plate. This is the dessert fork (not shown above) and you needn't move it until your fried bananas come flaming from the kitchen during the final act.
2. Left to Right. When you sit down there is no need to touch any of your utensils, so you have a moment to gather your wit. The forks to your left will most commonly be presented from "shortest to tallest," although at particular dinners you may notice the shortest fork in the middle of the three and it could get confusing. So remember: Size matters. But most often the fork you use FIRST will be the FARTHEST from you. Move inward as the courses go along.
Shortest: This is the variable. You might see this tiny fork and you might not. However, to spot it immediately look for the pointed prongs. This is to more easily dig its teeth into your oyster shells and the like. It is designed for this purpose, so once you're seated take a close reading and choose this fork first.
Medium: This is the official salad fork. It is not as thick as the dinner fork (imagine eating a steak with these two small forks. It would be powerfully difficult, no? Insert logic whenever possible, Sirs. Fine dining should be fun, not like a chemistry test.) It will most likely be used during the first course, though salad serving can come first, middle or last. It simply depends.
Tall: Ahhh... You can relax. All the forks to your left have been cleared and you've made it safely to dinner. Continue to ignore the tiny fork above your plate and dig in with confidence. You are CERTAINLY using the correct fork now.
So there you have it, Sirs. The Dinner Fork. It might seem pointless to move on to other bits of formal dining etiquette piece by piece, but Rome wasn't built in a day, now was it? We think not. Now go to Ikea and grab a few Forks. On Oyster Night your date will be endlessly impressed by your know-how.
Cheers.
The Swills.
2. Left to Right. When you sit down there is no need to touch any of your utensils, so you have a moment to gather your wit. The forks to your left will most commonly be presented from "shortest to tallest," although at particular dinners you may notice the shortest fork in the middle of the three and it could get confusing. So remember: Size matters. But most often the fork you use FIRST will be the FARTHEST from you. Move inward as the courses go along.
Shortest: This is the variable. You might see this tiny fork and you might not. However, to spot it immediately look for the pointed prongs. This is to more easily dig its teeth into your oyster shells and the like. It is designed for this purpose, so once you're seated take a close reading and choose this fork first.
Medium: This is the official salad fork. It is not as thick as the dinner fork (imagine eating a steak with these two small forks. It would be powerfully difficult, no? Insert logic whenever possible, Sirs. Fine dining should be fun, not like a chemistry test.) It will most likely be used during the first course, though salad serving can come first, middle or last. It simply depends.
Tall: Ahhh... You can relax. All the forks to your left have been cleared and you've made it safely to dinner. Continue to ignore the tiny fork above your plate and dig in with confidence. You are CERTAINLY using the correct fork now.
So there you have it, Sirs. The Dinner Fork. It might seem pointless to move on to other bits of formal dining etiquette piece by piece, but Rome wasn't built in a day, now was it? We think not. Now go to Ikea and grab a few Forks. On Oyster Night your date will be endlessly impressed by your know-how.
Cheers.
The Swills.
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