We get it. You're not gay.

OK guys. We weren't going to address this so early in your education, but we had a mini crisis at dinner tonight when we heard the man at the table to our left say the confusing and absolutely unnecessary phrase, "no homo" to his friend. And while we had no clue what prompted this nonsense it really became irrelevant. Who cares what prompted it? Its just sounds god awful and in the close quarters of a New York City restaurant its equally impossible to ignore. So when we came home, locked in a debate about publishing this post, we took to the web and found this.

(time lapse)

Fine. We were laughing too, but really, come on. The "I'm not gay" campaign inadvertently does more to actually pronounce your sexual wavering than you realize. For instance, do you remember when you were a child and would sneak a cookie after dinner and your mother would catch you? What would you say, "I didn't take the cookie! I promise!" Well, need we say more? We think not. I mean really, Jewelz Sanatana is the scholar who coined the term, which then begs the question, "do you truly want to identify with a man whose mental prowess gave his listening fans this gem?" :

[Chorus:]
Put my emotions aside (why?)
Cause they can never take my alive (no)
I’m a ride (I’m a ride)
And don’t cry (don’t cry)
Cause Momma raised her up a thug (I’m a thug)
And if I’m standing in front of the judge
Guess what?
He can never take me alive (no)
I’m a ride (I’m a ride)
And don’t cry (don’t cry)
Cause Momma raised hell of a thug (I’m a thug)
And if I’m standing in front of the judge..

And don't get us wrong - at 16 thugs were hard to beat. The aggressive bandanna's that hinted at a possible gang affiliation, the low slung jeans showing just the perfect smidge of disrespect that kept our parents monitoring our phone conversations and of course the filthy language that made us all believe the eventual sex would be equally as provocative as his tendency to say, "fuck" so easily. Ah yes. The thug has certainly had his day. But I mean, damn. Come on. Its time to grow up. If we were you we would be taking notes from Kris Van Assche's "new masculinity" and asking where I can cop those shoes...

PSA: FOOLS RUSH IN

So today was a toss-up. "To post or not to post" this article was a terse ten minute back-and-forth concerning responsible content - but for now, while there is still a very select group of you esteemed emerging gentlemen actually following our "blog" (three to be exact) it was given a "yay" and here we are to offer our thoughts.

Scene: We were shopping on Prince, getting an idea of what made it off the runway and into our favorite NYC shops when two young men strode in and immediately struck up a conversation about waiting on their "licenses" to clear so they could finally purchase their guns. They were hot with anticipation and bothered by the wait. They were eager in their speech and fidgety with their hands. Not the type of kids you want operating heavy machinery on the street this (economically destitute) summer, is it? Hell no.
Note: the two young men were white and wearing fitted caps to the side. We wanted to highlight that...

Guns are damn amazing. The craftsmanship, the power they wield, the decisive moment they present... the light bouncing off the shaft... They are amazing. However, as T.I readies himself to take full responsibility for his war-zone car-trunk fiasco, we bring you this:

RESPONSIBILITY.

Owning a gun requires you to implement the lost art of restraint. Its like bringing home a g-sting clad woman, sitting her down on your couch and then being forced to make polite conversation when all you really want to do is remove her nipple covers and fuck. As aggressive as that might sound its unabashedly true.

Owning a gun should be looked on as an art all its own. A responsibility greater than having a child and an undertaking far more complex than understanding Niche. Owning a gun is literally a life or death situation and we want you to be armed with intellect before you allow your "sunglasses at night" stardom fantasy to become a "T.I" like G.I Joe experience.

1. In New York City you have to wait 6 moths to legally obtain a handgun. That is the exact same time period pre-op transvestites are forced to undergo therapy to ensure they want their new genitalia. Direct correlation? Not a hint, but it serves to show that owning a gun is as serious as snipping off your penis. That alone should make you think.

2. Just because your friend showed you his does NOT mean you should turn around and show him yours. Guns breed tremendous interest and to own one should not be the "hot topic" of conversation. Its not a phallic symbol its a protective measure and nobody needs to know what "your packing."

3. Don't carry it around. Who was that dumb football player who shot himself in the foot recently? Right, him. Take a note from his career suspension and his hospital bill and keep yours home for "ladies night" cocktails.

4. Size matters. Don't play yourself like a fool and arm yourself with rifles that will liken you to a terrorist. Its unnecessary. Period. And while many people might argue all guns are just that, unnecessary, we are addressing the "reality-based" readers who fully understand that to address this issue is not to encourage, but to offer the issue some tailored thought. If T.I had a .9 he would have gotten a pass. Believe us.

5. LIFE IS NOT A WAR.
If you've read this far you are certainly interested in the art of warfare, but we truly want to truly remind you that you NEVER need a gun. Ever. If you do the Army will provide you many an option to shoot responsibly - and then assert they'll pay for college right after. Who knows if the latter is true or not (seen a homeless VET today, Sirs?) the point still stands: join the army and shoot away. If not? Opt out. Nobody likes it when the summer block party is broken up by some asshole with a new gun. Be responsible sirs. We need you around to keep reading our blog.

Cheers,
The Swills.

Man vs. Machine.

Kanye is on the cover of Complex.
"The Most Influential Brand in the Universe."
(as if you didn't already know)
Note: We took the liberty of highlighting the quotes that make him
a bit smarter than the rest

Do you think you’ve gotten to a place where there’s no self-consciousness or insecurity?

Kanye West:Yeah. There’s no insecurity in the work I do, the outfits I put together, the beats I make, the raps I say.

What was the turning point?

Kanye West: I guess my mom passing and getting out of certain situations and just being myself. Just getting the opportunity to be me and not be concerned about what people are going to say about things—to be my own worst critic. Like, I look at my Grammy speech from last year and I cringe. Me and Common always had an inside joke about releasing albums in different years, and it came off completely wrong. Nobody got it and it made me look like a complete asshole, and it just confirmed that Kanye’s arrogant and not appreciative. You should always be gracious in a situation like that because that’s their show. You know, who the fuck am I to feel like I have rights to any extra time when it’s their show? I came in as a bit of a hothead and now I’m completely respectful; I really have the opportunity to live my dreams out and have my Grammy moments and build a great relationship with these people. And I learned from that; I publicly apologized for it, and I apologized to Common for the way it sounded.

(time lapse)

So when you go to bed at night, there’s nothing—

Kanye West: Frustrating me?

Yeah.

Kanye West: The only thing is that I can’t talk to my mom anymore. Mistakes that I’ve made—things I didn’t do, things that I didn’t say, things I didn’t do to change that situation. That’s the only thing that hurts. In all the time that you’ve been around me, did I seem like I was really stressing shit?

You’ve said 808s is your most personal record. Listening to it, there are recurring themes of trust, cheating and paranoia. Why is that?

Kanye West: Because of mistakes that I’ve made from the beginning by not establishing a proper foundation of trust, just being a young dude who’s not trustworthy. Whoever you’re with is a reflection of you. It’s hard to be fully forgiven. People forgive but they don’t forget.

What did you learn about yourself in your last relationship?

Kanye West: That I have to believe in myself. Then I had to learn that a woman is a reflection of you, so if you make mistakes you will pay for them for the rest of the relationship.

Are you looking for a relationship in the future?

Kanye West: I think everybody wants to be in a relationship. I’m more of a boyfriend type. If I was ever in a situation with a bunch of girls, it’s just by default.

Oh Kanye, we love you so.
The Swills

Please read the rest of the article at
www.complex.com

Get Hip: The Wooden Cell Phone

If you happen to be of our generation (and no. we will never reveal our ages) you MUST remember the gift of all Christmas gifts circa 1987: The Hobby Horse. Everyone got one and we're certain you remember yours well. The countless hours we all spent traipsing around the house with tiny bare feet, pretending to be in the Wild Wild West not only engaged our tiny imaginations, but alerted us to the many gifts of craftsmanship without us even noticing. Perhaps that's why we fell in love at once when we saw the modern resurgence of wooden "toys" infiltrating the market as the world "goes green."

Wooden radios, wooden head phones and even wooden computers have begun to replace our slick and shiny plastic goodies and we couldn't be more thrilled. There is something terribly intimate about the feel of wood and absolutely nostalgic too. And while we do wonder about the depleting woodlands across the world, we can't deny wanting to put our perfectly manicured paws on these newly simplified gadgets. And since one of our very own greatest loves has been promoted to "Fashion Events Editor" at The Dossier Journal, we felt most entitled to snag the following blurbs from this brilliant publication. These new wooden gadgets are sure to have you looking Eco-conscious and stylish too, so grab your own Sirs and enjoy the slick, sensual feel of well oiled wood (pun absolutely intended).

Maple Phone
The Maple Phone was designed by Hyun Jin Yoon and Eun Hak Lee, who won the silver at this year's International Design Excellence Awards. It's comprised of two slender pieces of maple that function as a slider, revealing the LCD display stored inside. A sensor on the back turns the block of wood into a fully functional, touch-sensitive phone with MP3 compatibility and a digital camera. Though still in prototype form, the creators expect to manufacture the phone at an affordable rate so that it's available on a large scale. Keep an eye on the designers' blog for production updates.

David Burel Plywood Headphones
These distinctive headphones are as elegant as they are simplistic. Dissatisfied with wood used as a marketing device for environmentalists, David Burel made sure his phones made wood an integral feature of the design. The "wood arch" is made from Finnish birch plywood and uses the same molding technique employed by furniture and skateboard designers. The resulting arch has a width of 1.2mm, so it's lightweight and flexible, while providing the precise, resonant sound that only wood can produce. They're being launched under the title The Perfect Unison, where you can preorder one of 100 units currently in production. Since they're made from one continuous piece, you'll have to measure your head for proper sizing. While it ensures a perfect fit, it's also a built-in excuse to reject your friends' request borrow them.

Please read the Dossier Journal and read it often.
Pay special attention to the "Fashion Events" section and breath deeply. Its sure to
make you dry heave with lust.
http://dossierjournal.com/

Cheers,
The Swills

When Tragedy Strikes

Its unwaveringly true that during the onset of a relationship, or when times are good and things seem promising, it's VERY easy to "be there" for your lover. Suppose she lost her job and you offered her a few "survival" bucks. Perhaps she argued with a parent or co-worker and you took her side without question or hesitation. But what happens when tragedy strikes your relationship early on and you can't simply "take her side" and you are now at odds with each other and the woman you thought you'd love forever seems both unreachable and well, bitchy. What happens when love can't seem to save you?

1. Asses the love story

We'll freely admit that we have NO way of telling you how to establish if the lady in your life is "the one" or not, but you will certainly feel it in your gut. Diane Von Furtenburg famously said, "Absence is to Love as Wind is to Fire." If you are apart from your lady and the feeling of love grows, she might very well be "the one." If not? Perhaps you need to quickly move on.

2.EDUCATE YOURSELF

If you haven't decided that she's worth the trouble MOVE ON and read the wonderful article below about our coveted Jonathan Edwards. If you do want our advice, listen closely: Break down the issue. Was it an event? An argument? A lifestyle difference? Perhaps she and your friends cannot get along (at all)? In the most chaotic situations, all of the above might ring true. Regardless of the issue that's particular to your narrative, cut it up into chunks. You might even want to make a timeline of sorts. After all, if she IS "the one" there is NOTHING you wont do to save the relationship, right? Well, as said, put pen to paper and start scribbling (when you do re-enter her life you can come equipped with this and other goodies as a "forgive me" package and your efforts towards "understanding her" will NOT go un-praised.)

After you have written down the major points (or created a timeline of sorts), if there is something BLAZING before you (like the day you watched her turn from sweet and attentive to MAJOR BITCH), try to spot your role - if any - and see if you could have done anything more or anything differently. As we once suggested, ownership is a MUST in all relationships. The more you own up, the longer you'll last.

If you see something like "abortion" or "car crash" or anything physical, GOOGLE HER SYMPTOMS, CALL A DR or HIT THE LIBRARY. Personal tragedy can be an out-of-body-experience for men and women alike and the result can be the end of an otherwise happy relationship. Google will offer you comfort and understanding, as you might notice that her currently aggressive nature is actually unrelated to you in many ways and offering an educated, thoughtful shoulder to cry on will make you all the more manly in her eyes.

3. Reach Out

Women are natural survivors. In many an African Tribe, the women are left not only to mind the home but hunt game as well. The same is true for women on the Main Land. We can and WILL do it "all" for the right person. If you show up and stay present we'll hear you out and perhaps even accept an apology (especially if you bring evidence of back thought and preparation). Note: If you really messed things up and walked out on her when she needed you most, you might not ever get the response you're looking for unless you take drastic measures and show up on her doorstep with love in your eyes and a board game in hand. If this is your story and you're looking for a way back, think about what she needed from you most when you initially gave up. Does she want more of your time? Then go to her. Does she want you to be more open? Tell her your most sacred secrets... And the list goes on. If you were drunk with selfishness when you left her, its imperative that you "get right" and let her know you are NOT the coward you proved to be and truly do value her respect and love.

4. Communicate

Now, as we said when we offered you our "board game" solution, talking is not always the best way back in. Perhaps you've already said too much and words now get lost in the tense energy swarming the space. Well, make a playlist of songs that articulate the way you feel. Bring a game that addresses your issues. Come to her complete with a list of pre-written questions that you want her to answer or bring answers that you think she might need from you. Being innovative on behalf of love is brilliant. Its a sure fire way to excite and sooth your lost lover at once and re-entry is ONLY possible when your lover has a softened heart. If you are dealing with an A-typical, complicated woman use your intuition. Study her. Chances are you already know what you need to do. If she chose you, then you are most likely equally as complicated and only you know what will work for her.

5. Don't promise to change overnight

There is nothing more silly than promising things will change immediately. Healing a relationship is dependent on getting to know each other again, and it takes time. If you fear that you can't or wont change DO NOT GO BACK. But, if you have faith in your love and your desire to compromise is awake and thriving then gently establish the fact that you will TRY your HARDEST. This is NOT a time to lie or over-shoot. Simplicity and fundamental truths are the very seeds you need to cultivate this new phase.

Best of Luck,

The Swills

Black Girls Rule (and so does Spike)

Trace Magazine is quite simply THE magazine to be, know, covet, lust over and to die for. Trace has been saving little black girls across the globe since the 1990s, (when we started spending our weed money on it) by celebrating brown skin everywhere with this spot-on annual issue of praise. As loyal as the boyfriend we hope to one day find, Trace's annual "Black Girls Rule" issue is here again... and starring the endlessly adorable Keri Hilson. And while we don't want to get caught up in Keri Hilson or her recent flirtatious interview with our beloved Kanye (see clip below), we DO want to point out that SPIKE LEE is the guest editor of this issue and it makes us love him ALL the more feverishly.

Over the years Spike Lee has single handedly broken the ever-degrading "mold" of Black Film. He gave us Jungle Fever, Skool Daze and most powerful of all She's Got to Have It, which we now consider our straight-to-video bible of female empowerment. Somehow, some way, Spike Lee has found a way to consistently hold firm ground when it comes to understanding (and fully loving) black women and we ADORE him for it. Plus, he's damn cool and his wife Tonya is not only FULLY independant, sharp and filled with high wit, but endlessly graceful and beautiful to boot. Bravo, Sir Spike, on a life well lived indeed - Not to mention he's helped some of the MOST choice African American hopefulls to follow his lead at Tisch School for the Arts here in NYC and realize their dreams in film. After all, giving back is TRULY what its all about.


Enjoy the final product below

1 Month Mark!

Well, Its been one month since our very first post and we'd like to extend cigarettes, brandy and a deck of cards. We realize its the Sabbath, but we must mark our first month's close with something delicious, no? So we offer you good tidings and a very happy Sunday, Sirs. Thank you for your readership, however short the list of you might be.


Happy Sunday,
The Swills

Uh-Oh.

Now, we weren't going to comment on this at all. We were going to let the whole Jay Leno thing slide. We were NOT going to be amongst the angry-moms-of-America and drag our beloved Barack under the bus for one teeny, weeny slip of the tongue concerning (as Sarah Palin put it), "Our nations most precious and unique community." Nope. We were going to disregard the fact that our perfectly unifying Black President mocked the entire "special needs" community earlier in the week.

But this? Really Barack? We might have to side with Khamenei on this one...

See, recently Obama reached out to Iran's "Supreme Leader" Ayatollah Khamenei. Mr. Khamenei holds the ultimate responsibility for Iranian policy decisions, and Khamenei responded Saturday to the video message Mr. Obama released Friday in which he reached out to Iran on Nowruz, the Persian New Year, and expressed hopes for an improvement in nearly 30 years of strained relations.

...In his most direct public assessment of Mr. Obama and prospects for better ties, Ayatollah Khamenei said "there could be no change between the countries unless the Obama administration put an end to hostility toward Iran and brings “real changes” in foreign policy..."

“They chant the slogan of change but no change is seen in practice,” Ayatollah Khamenei said in a speech before a crowd of tens of thousands in the northeastern holy city of Mashhad.

Still, he left the door open to better ties with America, saying “should you change, our behavior will change, too...”

Listen here, Obama. It's not as if we don't love seeing you and your swagger show up at Lakers games and posing in the glossy pages of Men's Vogue, but the last thing we need is for you to go and forget that between building the basketball court in your new house and getting those darling girls a puppy you do have a job to do. And please, take no offense to our slight reminder of task, but after all, cool can't carry a presidency. Not to mention, we love Iran. Iran is NOT Iraq. Lets be clear. The black sea is a dream and the culture is both driven and kind. We would hate to see the Middle East of today turn into the Africa of yesterday and loose its humanity to American judgement. Lets protect the cultures we see ourselves in stop patronizing a community we simply fail to understand. We made it this far in America, lets not get off track now.

یرانی هادوستهایمان هستند
(english translation: Iranians are our friends)

Please read the rest of this article at NYtimes.com

Disclaimer: We LOVE Obama. We voted. We cheered. We cried. We all want to be amongst
his VERY first mistresses... But the truth is the truth. Period.

Cheers,
The Swills

Introducing : Jonathan Edwards

We must admit that here at The Irregular we love to find new talent, ideas, creations, designs, places... the whole bit. But since The Swills banned together to create this site, we've always had our minds set on celebrating the political, fun and unforgiving work of Washington D.C based artist Jonathan Edwards (and it's not simply because we adore his ever-brilliant fiance either).

Jonathan Edwards is the creator and CEO of Pocketlint Productions, a creative universe geared towards critiquing the complicated culture of the 21st Century. The company creates T shirts, posters, album covers and well, anything it seems... as long as it has at least SOMETHING to do with, well, analyzing life. The irony behind this feverishly assertive company is the man himself. With such patience in his mannerisms and such kindness in his eyes, it's hard to imagine such brooding thoughts emerging from this otherwise calm, collected gentleman. However, its fortunate for us all that the creative chaos bubbling in his mind actually does end up on the clothes we wear and the wall hangings in our homes. After all, what's the good of thinking if thoughts are never shared? And believe me, we always learn a little something when this man thinks out loud.

The Irregular: We were first introduced to your work about seven years ago and the personal, immediate thought was how political and unforgiving your work is. What inspires you to be so direct?

Jonathan Edwards: My work originally started out as t-shirt designs, so I wanted them to be attention grabbing and say a lot at once. I wanted people to look at them and have a reaction that gives them a double-take. In that second look, I tried to get the viewer to agree with things they might not have if presented differently. This taught me to draw on themes that hit close to home like race, religion, music, education, hair, and weed. These themes just happen to be political.

TI: Through image, you really do hold people (and full communities) responsible for their actions. Have you ever experienced a backlash or anger about it?

JE: Yes, I have. Every now and again people tell me that I’m being harsh and overly political and racially charged. People disagree with the way I hold law enforcement, government, and communities accountable for their actions. It’s just what I see and how I think—plus it’s fun, it’s satire. If it makes you talk about it, it’s done its job. There’s truth in my work and I think that’s the problem. The truth offends some people.

TI: As an artist, what is your responsibility towards your community, if any? And I realize this is redundant question, but i've found that its particular to each artist and i'd love to hear your thoughts.

JE: I would consider my community to be working black people with common sense, so being that I am a member, I never want my work to make my community look silly. I also feel a responsibility to create art that is accessible to them on all levels.

TI: How do you create a scene or narrative? Is there a particular process or do you idea come from just observing the world around you?

JE: The ideas come from my experiences as a token black and then pseudo-revolutionary and then jaded black working professional. I used to think that those experiences were unique, but I see now that they are pretty universal. The ideas usually start out as sketch comedy ideas, jokes or funny scenes that I start to draw out. I do have a process of sketching and tracing before I color.

TI: Dubois once said that the greatest "problem with the 20th century was the color line." What do you think is the problem with the 21st century? In under 2 paragraphs;)

JE: I think that DuBois’ famous words still ring true—the line is just more fine now. I think this is most clear in education. The fact that black people are disproportionately underserved by their public schools, but overly represented in prison is a sign that we are still denied access to the American Dream. School is where American students learn to get what they want out of society. If it doesn’t teach you that, then it’s useless. If your school does teach you that, then its students have endless potential. I think that if our schools looked like their schools, our communities would look like theirs and vice versa.

TI: With so many art programs being stripped from school programs how would you encourage other people (your age or not) to get into art? So many people miss the chance to cultivate that side of themselves these days, how would you go about "outside" art education?

JE: Our schools fail kids on so many levels that it makes sense that art would be one, too. I never took classes outside of school, so if school didn’t have art, then I didn’t either. I always drew at home. I would have to say that everyone should set aside time for artistic expression. It’s just like starting a habit of going to the gym. You can’t count on someone else to make time for your art.

TI: What was your first experience with art?

JE: I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember. I would make up cartoon characters like the ones I saw on TV. No one in my family knows where I got my talent from, but my parents always allowed for creative expression. There was always blank paper, musical instruments, things to draw with and books in our house. Whenever we needed to be calmed down, our parents would encourage us to draw and I would draw for hours.

TI: Whose your favorite male vocal, visual or performance artist? You can choose one of each or one out of all the above.

JE: Vocal: I like Killer Mike’s “I Pledge Allegiance to the Grind: Part II” and Wale’s “The Mix-Tape About Nothing.”
Visual: Gary Larson’s “The Far Side” has always been an inspiration.
Performance: My favorite male actors are Edward Norton and Dave Chapelle.

TI: What's the mark of a modern gentleman?

JE: The mark of a modern gentleman is vocabulary. You can fake having style and class right up until you open your mouth. Articulate speech separates real gentlemen from the phonies.

TI: So we hear your getting married! Will you be wearing a bow tie or not?

JE: I haven’t worn a bow-tie since I was 5 years old and it was a clip-on. I guess I’m not really a bow-tie type of nigga.

For more information contact:
pocketlintonline@gmail.com
or visit:
www.myspace.com/pocketlintonline

Cheers,
The Swills

Pocketlint Productions Gallery Space.

Thank you Sir Edwards for sharing your work with us
You were a brilliant subject for our debut interview!

For further information on how to
purchase your T shirt, Poster, etc contact:
pocketlintonline@gmail.com

Better Food = Better Sex.

"...An apple a day keeps... what?"

Yes. Its true. Good nutrition helps your skin glow and your body function more efficiently, but did you know that eating well can also enhance your sex life? Well, It's true. We stopped off at "Menshealth.com" and discovered a thing or two we think you should know about how to keep your "stamina" up.

1. For Healthier Sperm, Eat Your Greens
If you'd rather not have mutant sperm, try filling up on folate, a B vitamin that's key for cell production. Men low on folate may have 20 percent more unhealthysperm (swimmers that have missing or extra chromosomes) than those with higher levels, suggests a new study in the journal Human Reproduction.

Which foods pack the most punch: Leafy greens (think: spinach and kale), citrus fruits, and beans are all full of folate. Another source? Avocados, which—not so coincidentally—the ancient Aztecs referred to as "testicle trees." The recommended daily amount is 400 micrograms, but study authors think upping your intake to 700 micrograms might give sperm extra protection from mutations.

Easy fixes: Swap lettuce for spinach the next time you order a sub, opt for chili with extra beans, or add orange juice to your post-workout smoothie.

2. To Boost Your Sex Drive, Get Shucking
The mineral zinc may work as a libido-enhancer by helping with testosterone production—higher levels of the hormone are linked to an increase in desire.

Bonus: Some research finds zinc may even play a part in warding off prostate cancer. Which foods pack the most punch: Oysters take the prize, hands down. Besides being known as a classic aphrodisiac (thanks to their resemblance to a certain female body part), oysters hold more zinc than almost any other food. "Casanova reportedly ate 50 raw oysters a day, but I recommend getting no more than double the RDA of 15 mg—about the amount in six oysters," Marrena Lindberg, author of The Orgasmic Diet. Other good sources include red meat, peanuts, cashews, and pumpkin seeds.

Easy fixes: Eat raw oysters on ice with some lemon juice or chili sauce. Or toss roasted pumpkin seeds or peanuts in your next salad.

3. For Better Erections, Fill Up On Fish
When it comes to keeping your sex sessions going long and strong, a certain amino acid known as L-Arginine may be man's best friend. "L-Arginine works likeViagra by increasing nitric oxide to help relax blood vessels and allow more blood flow to the penis," says Lindberg. Some studies suggest that getting three grams a day could make for better erections. Which foods pack the most punch: Many foods high in good-for-you omega 3s are also high in L-Arginine, such as free-range game, seafood, walnuts, and sesame seeds. Plus, omega 3s help your body better absorb L-Arginine, according to a study in Nutrition & Metabolism. There are no RDA guidelines for how much L-Arginine you should have, but Lindberg recommends getting your daily fix by eating omega-3 packed protein such as free-range beef and chicken, or fatty fish like salmon.

Easy fixes: Here's your excuse to try out that whipped-cream and chocolate-sauce fantasy: the dark stuff also has L-Arginine. And its no news flash that most women love chocolate, so make her happy in more ways than one by bringing home a box, and then sampling some for yourself.

Tip from The Swills: Buy a Juicer and blend the ingredients that you deem fit for your needs
and drink up! Juicing has amazing powers for skin, hair and nail health. And now you can include sexual health in there too! And yes. Juice the leafy greens too. You'll thank us later, we're certain.

The Article was taken from Menshealth.com
Please Click here to rummage through their great website.

Tom Ford on Sexuality (and lots of other sartorial advice...)

1.

"There’s one indulgence every man should try in his lifetime: If you’re straight, sleep with a man at least once, and if you’re gay, don’t go through life without sleeping with a woman. Either way, you might be surprised at how natural it will feel if you can get past the mind-fuck of stereotypes. In the end, it’s just another person that you are relating to in a physical way."

2.

"Behind every great man there's a great woman, and behind every great woman there's a great man. A woman knows how to trigger a man's sensitivity and open him up to things that sometimes he can be a little shortsighted about, like how to truly enjoy life. A man knows the element of surprise, which women sometimes forget."

3.

"I hate rings and bracelets on men. I'm not a fan of man bags, or girl bags either—or even sunglasses. I don't like fussy accessories. Isn't it more chic to be free? Every jacket I make has interior pockets big enough to store a book and a sandwich and a passport."

4.

"Cigarettes are a vile, dirty habit. Joints, on the other hand, are perfectly acceptable."

5.

"If you remain curious about the world, you will stay young at heart. Beyond that, I recommend an hour’s exercise every day and a healthy diet with a lot of fresh vegetables and fruits."

GET HIP : TAZ

Complex: What were you like as a kid? How did you dress?

Taz: As a kid? I’ll say this. In 1986, I was in a prep gang on 108th street in Crenshaw called “The Nerdz Gang,” like the candies. It was a spin-off of being a nerd, but these were like criminal cats riding surfboards, skateboards—all black, mind you—and selling a little weed and shoplifting surf clothes. And that was the first gang that I ever wanted to be in, and like I was in the 6th grade…

Complex: After Paris Fashion Week, you really had all the blogs talking about you—specifically about the way you dress. Everyone was like, “Yo, Taz is wearing tights! What the fuck is that about?” Why do you think they were so shocked?

Taz: Cats don’t travel! They got to go to like Japan and see…there’s killers in this world with this style shit…muthafuckin’ ninjas that will slice your neck quick. You think you fresh rolling up with your little Gucci, and muthafuckas up there wearing dresses and shit with beards. But they not gay, they just wearing a kilt and their shit is fresh! They sitting there hanging out with fucking Karl Lagerfield. He’s worked with me, how the fuck are you gonna call him wack? Muthafuckas don’t have their minds right. This is art, man. This shit ain’t about fucking like “hip-hop rules” or no shit like that. This shit is Basquiat and Andy Warhol.

Note: We agree! Go renew your passports, Sirs! We want to go to Paris...

Excerpt taken from the March Issue of
Complex Magazine.

Its well worth the money.
This man is not only fine as all hell, but smart too.

Bonus How To: Getting the Softest Skin

The Beauty of the Dry Brush...

Dry brushing your body is not only a brilliant way to exfoliate (pre-shower) but it also stimulates circulation and helps to detoxify your body. Women have been doing this for years, and if you are a part of the small handful of men that has already adopted many of our beauty secrets, you needn't read further. However, for the rest of you, Dry Brushing is an easy way to keep your skin glowing while giving your internal system a little massage.

1. Any brush will do. You can run to your local CVS, pick up a brush for 3.50 and voila! You've started your "in home spa."

2. Starting from your feet to your neck, start exfoliating in small circles, paying special attention to the naturally rough areas on your knees, elbows, etc. Remember to at least try to cover your entire body. You will feel like silk, so why leave a part out?

3. Step into the shower and rinse off.

4. When you emerge from the shower, while your body's still damp rub a dime size amount of Olive Oil on all over. Olive Oil has been a in-home staple for women throughout history and will serve you well too. Its antioxidant powers alone will have you feeling like a new man, indeed.

5. Now, stand before the mirror and admire your new, glowing skin.

Benefits of Dry Brushing

1. Removes cellulite

2. Cleanses the lymphatic system

3. Removes dead skin layers

4. Strengthens the immune system

5. Stimulates the hormone and oil-producing glands

6. Tightens the skin preventing premature aging

7. Tones the muscles

8. Stimulates circulation

9. Improves the function of the nervous system

10. Helps digestion

11. AND it’s easy, inexpensive and invigorating!

Benefits of Olive Oil

1. stimulates new cell generation giving the skin a fresh, youthful appearance

2. tightens and tones the skin with its high concentration of vitamin e and antioxidants

3. slows the development of wrinkles, creases and signs of aging

4. softens the skin, reduces infection and is effective in treating burns

5. has anti-inflammatory properties

6. alleviates many skin conditions including acne, eczema and psoriasis

Todays How To: Reconnecting With Your Lover

Relationships take work. Its true for every single pair of people on the planet from platonic friendships to passionate lovers - it ALL takes work. The first few months of any relationship are typically filled with random marks of chivalry and assertions of interest. You might send flowers. You might write long, hand written love notes... You might show up with a case of chocolates or you might even book a trip to a lovely bed and breakfast...

But what happens around year two? What happens when the makeup has rubbed off, the perfume is replaced with morning breath and the way she used to select your ties for you now seems more like mothering than partnering? What do you do when you want to opt out?

Well, like most successful, handsome, dapper gentlemen whose bravado is only rivaled by TV Actors and the ever-present narcissist you might want to run. You might want to cheat. You might want to start pulling away so she decides to leave you. And while we're certain that to many of you the options above seem reductive and contrived, you'd be astonished to know how many of our own personal femme fetales have suffered under the weight of those very actions.

And if you are one of the many men who suffers from any of the aforementioned relationship-outs, we'd like to suggest a new trick to try... after all, what's the harm in at least trying? As we once warned, there is NOTHING more pathetic than a man coming back after months of being in a "selfish phase," just to run off again, soon after his weak return.

The Power of Board Games.

To some people this might seem trivial or even childish. You might spend so much time wound up in a business suit that you can't even remember how light and fun games can actually be. You might not want to be seen buying a board game - especially a sexy one at that. And lastly, you might not be sure that your lover wants to play! Perhaps he or she is a tightly bound cynical vixen who thinks trivial fun is for children. But we dare you to try... After all, once you enter this world you are CERTAIN to find something to sooth your problem area.

How To...

1. Identify the issue in your relationship
Relationships have particular issues such as communication, power-play, etc. and it would serve you well to consider the problem and choose a game that would help to explore the issue in fun way.

2. Stay In
Making this a "stay at home" evening will ensure that you are both at your most comfortable by "Game Time." You might want to refer to one of our first "How-To's" entitled "Oysters on the Half Shell," and create a chic night of delicious aphrodisiacs...

But even if you create your own meal, showing that you put thought into the entire evening will leave your partner feeling appreciated and more open to communication. Trust us.

3. Tentative Plan
A - When your date arrives make sure you have at least started the meal. This seemingly small detail will show that you were not only eager to begin the night but you can now invite her to join you and preparing dinner can be a brilliantly natural bonding moment. Not to mention, by working in a team you start to establish a team mentality and that's key in any relationship. Remember Sirs, tiny details lead to large rewards...

B - Give her a task right away. Its sexy when a man has a plan. Period.

C - Have the table pre-set. That way you don't have to retreat from the sensual mindset that cooking together creates and slide into the mechanics of flatware. Tip: Unless your date is a set designer, she probably doesn't want to set the table for you. Ever.

D - Eat Up!
(Note: You might want to consider including a dessert. And as quiet as its kept, strawberry shortcake is an easy choice and you CERTAINLY CAN make it all your own. See recipe at end of article.)

E- Board Game!
This is the time to present the idea of the board game (if you haven't already spoken to her about it. Either way is fine. It all depends on your comfort level). Trick to Try: If you are uncertain about how to introduce the game, try blind folding her and letting her know you have a surprise for her. You might even lead her to a softer area like the living room. The brief walk alone will cause a few giggles and lighten the mood.

F - Explain the purpose of the game. Tell your partner the issue you've identified and why you chose a board game to explore it. The key to establishing good communication is showing that you care, and indicating that you've thought long and hard about them will inevitably earn you points.

G - HAVE FUN!

The rest is yours, sirs. But please browse around the web and give "communication" a new life. It doesn't have to be a long winded, annoying conversation - it CAN be fun.

Cheers,
The Swills

Where to find games online:

http://www.candlelightmessages.com
http://www.simply4lovers.com

Strawberry Shortcake!

Strawberry Shortcake is a nostalgic, delicious, fresh dessert
that will undoubtedly make you look like a thoughtful
partner who knows a bit about grandma's
favorite recipes...

1. Go to the local grocery and grab some Bisquick, eggs and various other ingredients for the biscuit recipe. Don't forget the large strawberries too! (And if you really love your partner, you will want to include a signature mark on this otherwise simple dessert and a good idea would be to whip the cream yourself... It takes 5 minutes and who knows what fun you could dream up with a fresh bowl of whipped cream. Click here to see the VERY few steps to making your own whipped cream.)

2. Strawberries first! Cut the strawberries in half and sprinkle lots of sugar over them. Tuck them in the refrigerator for a few hours and go jump in the shower and get well groomed.

3. Biscuits Last! You can mix the biscuit ingredients before dinner and pop them in the refrigerator too, but don't cook them before dinner. They smell amazing as they bake and take about 15 minutes. You can tuck them in the oven as you notice your date finishing their meal.

4. Whipped Cream! When the biscuits are done, take them out of the oven to cool. Since whipping your own cream only takes about 5 minutes you can do this while the biscuits cool. Invite her into the kitchen while you whip up dessert. Its very sexy to watch a man navigate his way through a meal.

5. Presentation! You might notice that we put a photo of a somewhat imperfect example at the top of this post, but we want to encourage you to NOT focus on the appearance of the dessert. It truly is the thought that counts.

Nice Work, Kim.

Before

When Kim Kardashian started dating Reggie Bush we weren't shocked. In fact, we kind of thought they looked cute together - as if she had plucked him straight from his highschool football team, complete in his (baggie, boxy) graduation suit. Take the above photo for instance. The brown suit is not only a poor color choice and only serves to further push him into kim's shadow, but the cut doesn't accentuate his full frame, but rather makes him look as if he's standing inside of a cardboard box.

After

We realize that Sir Reggie is not in fact wearing much of anything in this photo, but its not hard to see how far his confidence has grown since the "Before" shot was taken. It's clear that through active attention from his doting and stylish lover, Kim he has emerged as her equal. Not a high school playmate. And is it us or does his skin now have a lovely glow to it too?

What's the point? Well, many men might shy away from the likes of Kim Kardashian and while we can hear you SCREAMING how wrong we are, we riddle you this: When's the last time you dated a woman you felt was above you? When's the last time you took your lady's advice for
years on end and it didn't turn into resentment?

Well, take a note from Reggie Bush. The longer you listen the better your skin will look. Perhaps you might liken it to drinking a tall glass of milk daily, without suffering the lactose intolerance. You are certain to grow stronger, taller, faster. Trust Us.

the photos above were taken from this month's issue of GQ.
Please pick one up at your local bodega for further
information.